So, I was sittin up to camp last night when a strange fella come up and said "why don't
you come down to the party at my place tonight". I said, party, Chirst there's only twenty people livin in this town, who
all is gonna come?
"Oh, by gosh. There's gonna be dancing all night. Loud bang bang rock and roll music. Drinkin
drinkin drinkin. Fight'n after that. All kinds a knock down drag out fight'n. You won't believe the sex that's gonna go on.
All night long, and nasty. Oh, there's gonna be keg stands, quarter playin and everything else by gosh!!" Well, you
still didn't say who is going to be there! "Oh, it 'twill be just you and I of course!"
What did the doe say when she came out of the woods?
"My gosh! I'm not doing THAT for two bucks again!!"
Ole lady Dot Pinkham stopped by doctor Johnson's place and told him she missed her departed
Jed and had decided to end it all. The doc said "well, Dotty, here is what you do. Find Jed's ole horse pistol, put up to
your heart and pull the trigger. That'll do it!" "By gorry Doc, I don't even know where to point the gun!" "Well,
Dot, your heart is just below your left breast" With that, Dot departed. About an hour later she returned to Doc's place.
She said "Doc, by the Holy Jumpin' Jesus, all I managed to do was shoot myself in the left foot!!!!
My first attempt at a California/Oregon/Nevada joke, this one adapted from an ole Texas joke:
So, a Californian and Oregonian and Nevadan were out riding horses, when the Nevadan
throws his bottle of Sierra Pale Ale into the air and shoots it.
Why did you do that, asks the Californian? "Because in Nevada our beer is cheap, that's why!"
Not to be outdone, the Californian breaks out a bottle of Champagne and throws it into
the air and shoots it. "Why did you do that? "asks the Californian.
"Because in California we have plenty of Champagne, and bottles are cheap".
At that point the Oregonian takes out a fine bottle of Oregon wine, takes a swig, and several
more big gulps, and puts the bottle back into his saddle bag. Then, he takes out his gun, turns, and shoots the Californian
dead. "Why did you do that?" asks the Nevadan. "Because in Oregon, Californians are cheap, and we recycle!"
That one will be hard to beat. Here is my Washington State/Oregon joke:
So, a man from Washington came down to Portland to buy a fancy new Mercedes. After buying
the car, he came back an hour later all hot and bothered, like a typical out of stater. "This dang blasted radio don't work"
he sceamed to the salesman. "Oh, yes. What you have to do is say what you want to hear out loud". So the man drove off, satisfied.
He said "Country music" and Hank Williams came on. He said "rock n roll!" and a station playing Ted Nugent tuned in.
About that time, an Oregonian in a jeep cut him off on the highway. "Stupid rednecks!" he muttered. Then the radio speakers
barked: "TOUCHDOOOOOOOWN SEATTLE!!!!!!!"
more jokes to come
more jokes to come
more jokes to come
